There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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