I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
