Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
