Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I cut my penus on the lid.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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