gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize