Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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