Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
