am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
