come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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