What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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