Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
