saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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