I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's blow job season.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
