I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I can text with my tongue
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
