I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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