Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
