Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
