i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I have feelings that need drinking.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
