You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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