I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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