I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize