And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
