dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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