I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I look excited, but its just a facade.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
