we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
