My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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