My liver just broke up with me...
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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