i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
it's like iHOP with fire
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!