Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
