It's like God shit irony all over that family
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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