i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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