Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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