I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
