It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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