So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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