What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
