You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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