im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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