I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
