Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
