He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
