We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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