is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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