I wish I only lived at night.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
