I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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