I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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