yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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