Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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