i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
