girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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