8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
