If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
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He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
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He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot