Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(562): View more from California

I wanna eat

(562): View more from California

then frost

(562): View more from California

then eat your cupcake

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(562): I wanna eat (562): then frost (562): then eat your cupcake http://tfl.nu/zc7x

Replies (12) Good night (1283) Bad night (699)
Favorite
(818): View more from California

Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.

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(818): Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square. http://tfl.nu/gdo6

Replies (24) Good night (3103) Bad night (589)
Favorite
(512): View more from Texas

Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.

(405): View more from Oklahoma

I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.

(512): View more from Texas

Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.

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(512): Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me. (405): I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me. (512): Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked. http://tfl.nu/bn4w

Replies (64) Good night (2861) Bad night (913)
Favorite
(769): View more from Mississippi

she said she likes her vagina punished

(1-769): View more from Mississippi

being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough

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(769): she said she likes her vagina punished (1-769): being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough http://tfl.nu/ts79

Replies (35) Good night (1946) Bad night (7302)
Favorite
(609): View more from New Jersey

So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....

(732): View more from New Jersey

This explains a lot.

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(609): So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner.... (732): This explains a lot. http://tfl.nu/s7a0

Replies (24) Good night (8933) Bad night (1317)
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(407): View more from Florida

it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.

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(407): it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone. http://tfl.nu/u2hu

Replies (17) Good night (1534) Bad night (4433)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.

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(919): Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick. http://tfl.nu/djhd

Replies (23) Good night (7492) Bad night (1146)
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(224): View more from Illinois

someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.

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(224): someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming. http://tfl.nu/chjo

Replies (5) Good night (3395) Bad night (977)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.

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(612): Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home. http://tfl.nu/ms67

Replies (3) Good night (1970) Bad night (827)
Favorite
(919): View more from North Carolina

It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it

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(919): It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it http://tfl.nu/58vo

Replies (4) Good night (1051) Bad night (606)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date

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(402): As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date http://tfl.nu/07k6

Replies (8) Good night (495) Bad night (2120)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid

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(615): I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid http://tfl.nu/n6y8

Replies (2) Good night (705) Bad night (744)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.

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(612): I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around. http://tfl.nu/8ahv

Replies (4) Good night (1105) Bad night (420)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat

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(321): This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat http://tfl.nu/jdal

Replies (0) Good night (813) Bad night (471)
Favorite
(812): View more from Indiana

I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.

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(812): I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out. http://tfl.nu/vfrv

Replies (1) Good night (259) Bad night (233)

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