my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
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I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
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I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.