Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people

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  (317): I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people http://tfl.nu/qth2
  Replies (34) Good night (6844) Bad night (1079)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic

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  (917): She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic http://tfl.nu/5xzq
  Replies (37) Good night (5266) Bad night (1593)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else

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  (253): just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else http://tfl.nu/tjvf
  Replies (12) Good night (886) Bad night (3961)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.

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  (610): i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub. http://tfl.nu/fmmx
  Replies (33) Good night (1543) Bad night (6081)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.

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  (702): I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad. http://tfl.nu/4uh2
  Replies (16) Good night (5017) Bad night (1567)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.

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  (870): Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear. http://tfl.nu/uzj4
  Replies (8) Good night (2965) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne

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  (603): I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne http://tfl.nu/z1js
  Replies (7) Good night (1777) Bad night (1324)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.

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  (715): Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them. http://tfl.nu/68wg
  Replies (8) Good night (3147) Bad night (1099)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  You need to not admit that.

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  (513): We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix (1-513): You need to not admit that. http://tfl.nu/r8yn
  Replies (2) Good night (1355) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick

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  (432): She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick http://tfl.nu/csbc
  Replies (10) Good night (1253) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.

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  (818): Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC. http://tfl.nu/yps0
  Replies (9) Good night (2146) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.

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  (614): Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it. (1-614): I can bring a slip n slide and curtains. http://tfl.nu/1p4g
  Replies (5) Good night (995) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right

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  (325): Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right http://tfl.nu/uway
  Replies (3) Good night (469) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up

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  (360): Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up http://tfl.nu/7s1p
  Replies (1) Good night (700) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar

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  (615): we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar http://tfl.nu/4o2z
  Replies (1) Good night (496) Bad night (312)

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