Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
