i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
