Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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