Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
