he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
