very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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