she's into porn, im staying here tonight
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
