margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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