it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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