just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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