yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
