she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
