I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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